It’s gone, the door is closed. You are f*cked. You’re panicking now, you want that door to open again. Even though you don’t love what’s behind it, now it’s closed you want it back. And as it’s gone you feel empty and lost.
I have found working with my clients that it’s from this ground zero that we are in the greatest position. It’s when the old doors are closed and our safety belts are gone that we begin to settle more in ourselves and build from there.
For example, I was working with a lady who was going through a divorce and she and her ex had a B&B business together in the countryside, which was her dream when she was living in a big city.
However, the divorce meant that they would have to sell the B&B as they couldn’t continue together and she felt devastated. So we worked together to find out exactly what it is that she would really love to do and she remembered that she had always wanted to go travelling but having a B&B meant that this was not possible. After our call, she found that this loss actually gave her the power to follow one of her dreams!
When you experience a loss though and you are trying to see what’s the best steps forward, it can feel very scary as it’s all new. And sometimes you have been living in a certain way, you actually don’t know what you want and that’s making you feel really panicked.
So how to create power from loss?
Stop looking at closed doors – they are closed for a reason and staying stuck in grief for what was will drive you down a spiral of negativity. Yes, we need time to grieve but we also can change our focus to what’s opening up instead. Take a look at my other article on “when you have a world to build but you want to cry instead” which gives some tips in allowing you time and space to grieve.
Start getting more into you again – take the time to find out who you are without this other part of you that’s gone, whether it’s a job or a relationship. Settle in to you through meditation, dance, yoga – whatever it takes to get into your body. What self-care practices can you do to connect more with you? Let me know, I would love to hear!
Build yourself up – look at how this loss has created some freedom for you to do the stuff that you really wanted to do, but couldn’t. When working with my clients we start to really look at the benefits a recent loss and this starts to create amazing realisations of just how f*cking powerful they are, and they may even count this loss as a blessing!
And take this chance to rebuild your lives again, exactly how you want it.
Let me know what are your best self-care practices when you’re feeling low, send me a mail or comment on the blog.
Love you!
Kelly
