You want to keep everyone happy; always smiling, resolving conflict, not rocking the boat. You don’t like to be confrontative, you’d rather leave that to others. And the thing is, you really FEEL other people, you can sense when they’re happy, when they’re
And it affects you. You don’t want it to. But you can’t help it. And so you spend a lot of your time trying to keep everyone in balance, to not waste time on being angry and to just get on with life.
This all sounds sooooo reasonable. Too reasonable, perhaps?
People pleaser sounds like a strong phrase.
Are you a people pleaser?
Do you hate it when other people are unhappy with you?
Maybe there is something in it, maybe you do like to please people…
The first thing to say is… it’s not your fault! You’re not weak, wrong or stupid.
Could it be that you’re just sensitive? Sensitive to how other people feel?
I’ve found that a lot of my clients are naturally quite empathetic. Naturally, they feel other people’s feeling, even more than the people themselves do sometimes 😉
And so this can end up making them feel like they have to do something to fix it, as the feelings can be overwhelming at times.
So spontaneously you are a natural care-taker, a natural nurturer of other people and their feelings. And the truth is, that can feel quite good sometimes.
You do feel good when you make others happy and when you take care of them. Even though it can feel exhausting sometimes.
So what has this got to do with your life purpose?
The truth is, if you’ve spent your life feeling into others, their needs and desires… you can get yourself mixed up with what it true for you and what is true for others.
So you can end up doing a career in order to please someone else or is actually more matched to their values than yours.
So often people pleasers can find themselves in careers that aren’t fulfilling their deep desires. And so they end up feeling empty, like there’s no space left for them. As they’ve been busy filling themselves up with other people’s desires and needs!
And then when it comes to knowing what it is that they’d really love to do… they’re stumped.
They don’t know, as in a way, they’re full with other people’s feeling so they can’t fully decipher what is them and that is someone else.
So if this feels like you, here’s how to get started:
- Do a conscious disentanglement.
Just through your command, you can command that other people’s energies leave your energy so that you are clear. (if you’d like my free meditation and worksheet on this just ask)
- Do a connection to you.
This is where you mindfully connect more to your body so that you are less out of your head and more connected to your heart. (If you like try my “make decisions you can trust training” for this.)
- Start to ask yourself what you would love
To eat, to go, to do. Seriously, the little questions about what you would really love, then you can slowly build this up into the bigger questions, like what’s my life purpose!
This is something I help my clients with day-in, day-out so if you feel ready to say YES to a life full of your desires, then book in for a free discovery call with me – HERE.